As a psychologist, my life’s work is to try to improve the mental health of others. Each day I learn more about the richness of the human mind. These 15 simple insights are just some of the many that have been revealed to me over time.

1. Truth is an elusive concept. It varies from person to person, across different circumstances and over time. It might not be constant or reliable. The picture and the narrative are often different when you look at the same story through different lenses.
   
2. A psychiatric diagnosis is just one way of interpreting actions, behaviour and emotions. What looks to a psychiatrically trained eye as psychopathology can be constructed or understood differently – sometimes critically, but often with compassion, insight and a deep understanding of the complexity of the human experience.
3. Sometimes psychiatric diagnosis is the most helpful way of understanding someone’s behaviour and emotions, and treating the mental illness can be the most humane, ethical and effective way of relieving distress.
4. Most things – including people – are not simply good or bad. They are a complicated mix of both. There are psychological theories, particularly in the psychodynamic and object relations paradigms, that can help to make sense of the ways in which people often try to separate and polarise good from bad.
5. Even the most powerful, positive and impressive people struggle with something in life. Nobody is spared from suffering in certain ways.
6. There is more than one way to interpret human behaviour. There are competing and conflicting theories, labels and interpretations. The experts are not always in agreement with one another about which way of understanding and treating mental distress is the most superior. Evidence-based knowledge is considered to be the most reliable. Sometimes your interpretation of your own personal story is worth more than any theory or research.
7. Love, connection, belonging and attachment with others are all vital to being alive and to a feeling of wellbeing. At the same time and arguably just as important are the processes of independence, separation and being able to let go of the loved-one under the right circumstances.
8. You can over-focus, become over-involved and smother someone emotionally, causing them suffocating distress. Allowing others (including your own children) to find their own way and walk the journey of their choice can be just what they need in order to thrive.
9. In order to live a satisfying, enriching life, you need to find meaning and purpose. This can be hard to do if you are suffering from mental illness, including anxiety and depression. It can also be hard to do if you are under the spell of any kind of addiction.
10. Childhood experiences can significantly influence your adult life. Early traumas can leave lasting imprints on mental and emotional well-being.
11. Sometimes people who had troubled childhoods can go on to lead productive, healthy and positive lives. You are not always limited or compromised by adverse early experiences. A psychotherapy process can be an important part of finding your way if you experienced hardship when you were young.
12. An individual is born into and embedded in a cultural context – involving history, geography, politics, community, ideology, race, family relations, expectations, beliefs, values and so many other factors. An anthropological lens can be extremely helpful when trying to understand someone’s mental state and related behaviour.
13. Effective communication is vital in all aspects of life.
14. Vulnerability, modesty and humility are crucial as a balance to empowerment, selfesteem and a solid belief in one’s own value as a human being.
15. The power of resilience can be surprising. But it can be elusive and some people can sometimes feel that they do not have enough resilience to make their lives tolerable. The challenge at times like this is for others who feel stronger to step in and reach out. The person in despair might then see that the essential goodness of humanity still exists and so it’s worth giving this life another chance.

References

• American Psychiatric Association. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 6th edition. Arlington, VA: American Psychiatric Association, 2013.
• Hunt, Xanthe and Mark Tomlinson. ‘Child Developmental Trajectories in Adversity: Environmental Embedding and Developmental Cascades in Contexts of Risk’. In Understanding Uniqueness and Diversity in Child and Adolescent Mental Health, edited by Matthew Hodes, Susan Shur-Fen Gau and Petrus J. de Vries, 137–156. London: Academic Press, 2018.
• Jacobs, Alan. How to Think: A Guide for the Perplexed. London: Penguin Random House, 2017.
• Lubbe, Trevor. Object Relations in Depression: A Return to Theory. New York: Routledge, 2011.